I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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