Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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