I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I will pee on everything he values.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
