i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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