do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
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i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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