Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
