I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
