You can't motorboat a personality
Say something about gay babies.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
These tits shall not be calmed
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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