We won't sleep together?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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