What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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