I'm so fucking centered right now
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
