New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
