I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?