I cockslap morals
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
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So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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