on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
