Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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