in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
BRING THE BAGELS
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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