You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
