Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
