When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
