break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
