$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
