Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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