the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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