So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
ttyl tear gas
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
