South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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