hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
