Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
