Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
