brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
