this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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