I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
