Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
