i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize