Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
