And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize