so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
