Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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