Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
