Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize