Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
