dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Randomize
