Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
