Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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