Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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