operation have a gay friend backfired
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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