Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
is it fun? or sober?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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