"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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