So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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