What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
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I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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