you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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