Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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