Swine flu. Run for my life!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
