i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
