If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I love you. Go after that dick
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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