id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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