Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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