Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
