I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Please don't give away my fajitas
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