he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
