I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
