but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
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The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
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If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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