I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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