is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
