My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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